Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
