Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
