was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
