I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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