Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this just has baby written all over it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
