and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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