I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
