a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am one with the molecules
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
