Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
