i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
