I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
