I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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