Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
