Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
