wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
