i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
