So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
