I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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