we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
