He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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