hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
