found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
