I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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