I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
