No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
