And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
well you can't waste a boner
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
