Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
