I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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