shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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