My room smells like vodka and shame
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
