I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
