He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
