Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
