Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
