I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
