I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
