2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Send help, water and tortillas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
