when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
