We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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