Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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