Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
