i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
