Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
