Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
