i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
