Your dad touched me again.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
