Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
