Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
