just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
