I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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